Life is Hard. Like really Hard.
One minute, you’re on Cloud 9, and with the flick of a switch, you can find yourself lying face down in a ditch.
But hey! It happens to the best of us. Unfortunately, life isn’t all butterflies, rainbows, and unicorns. “It’s how you recover that really matters!” or so the ambigious relics’ legend will continually be retold until the end of time.
Take it from the self-proclaimed trauma queen: adulting is a lot harder than it looks. Dancing the tango in different forms of relationships, stressors of work, maintaining the total dumpster fire of societal pressures and norms, transitioning with the ongoing evolution of life’s never-ending changes, paying bills on time, and more — it’s hard to believe there can even be more… I’m starting to sweat now just thinking about it.
While a select few are graced to have the woo-sa gene flowing through their blood, most of us are faced with tirelessly using whatever energy is left in our tanks to grasp for any potential strands of sanity left. So the need for coping skills is more dire than ever. Can I get an Amen? **This is your cue to Hollaback. It’s okay. I’ll wait... until this shiz gets b-a-n-a-n-a-s.**
I feel it’s my sacred duty as your fairy-anxious godmother to share some of my own tips and tricks for handling life’s mismanaged chaos with you.
You're welcome.
#MotivationMonday
When confronted with opting for “good, bad, or even ugly” outlets — selecting the healthy pick isn’t always the easiest route. However, throwing punches at the air for 45 minutes while doing kickboxing or attempting to do Zumba when there isn’t an ounce of rhythm in your bones is certainly a great way to let go of tension, anger, and stress. Plus, losing 3 pounds in sweat never hurt anybody.
Susan may steal my lunch at the office four times a week, but I will be able to wear those “hot pants” she hates on Monday now — and there’s nothing that will gas her up more. Sometimes in life, passive-aggressive revenge is the best “dish served cold” I’m going to get, and that’s also okay with my #pettytwoshoes self.
Is this extremely chaotic behavior? Absolutely. Is this completely on-brand for me? Also yes. Is this responsible coping? Well, why not? I’m not hurting anyone. I may as well go get a spray tan while I’m at it too. I want to look my very best for her. I love you, girl! **wink & kissy face emoji**
B$G Spender
Some argue “money can’t buy happiness,” but I believe ‘these people’ have just never had the pleasure of spending it.
Retail therapy did not become a girl’s best friend by accident. There’s no better immediate gratification remedy than clicking the *add to cart* button when you’re feeling down, uncertain, or even worse — extremely bored.
I mean, who needs a therapist when you can have a new pair of shoes? **I’m kidding. Please don’t come for me.**
The rush of dopamine and serotonin that takes hold after a transaction is complete is second to none. But don’t take my word for it. Turn words into actions and push full-send on buying that LBD (since you already have 20 screenshots of it saved to the cloud, so far). Then sit back, relax, and start to let the shackles of life’s stressors start to slip away…
To be honest, though, waiting for things ordered online to arrive can be a complete drag. So grab a roll of raw chocolate chip cookie dough, a glass of vino, an adult coloring book, and get ready to binge-watch Love Island Australia or hone your (FBI-level) investigation abilities with True Crime podcasts. **I’m not saying I’ve done this before, but I’m also not saying I haven’t.**
If you’re anything like me (and if I haven’t scared you off yet, those chances are high), then you’ll also be watching the package updates like a hawk — curious as to why it hasn’t moved since 4:23 AM. But we’ll be standing at the ready, like a soldier reporting for duty, when the delivery driver approaches with the shipment. I make a mad dash for our room, with absolutely no regard for anyone’s safety — scrambling to put the new arrival on (as if I didn’t just order it yesterday).
I am either super impressed or completely underwhelmed. There is no in-between. Ever. When I love it, I then proceed to take 10–300 selfies to send to my group chat of besties and gush about it.
When I hate it, I do the exact same thing — except we ream the item to bits with jokes, gifs, and memes in the chat. Dare you ask why? (I probably sound as if I’ve lost a few too many marbles already.) The answer is quite simple. Sometimes in life, the best thing you’re going to get is a laugh — even if it’s at yourself.
Life is hard, but it is also full of opportunities for joy. Don’t let anyone rob you of your happiness.
Especially not Susan.
Be proud to be you - no one else gets to be. *mic drop*
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